Its been a while since I've been brooding on this topic. Finally today found the time to bundle my thoughts and jot it in. It has rattled in my mind ever since my last Ikea visit. Now one might wonder what it has got to do with Ikea; nothing at all. Let me elaborate.
Sometime back, Pia, a friend of mine, and I went for window shopping. We decided to look around in Ikea. After an hour jog through the showroom, we decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to take a lunch break. While sitting in the sun, enjoying the infamous .99€ Hotdogs on a bench outside Ikea, Pia started staring with a smile; she stares when she finds something interesting...or annoying, only then its accompanied with a frown.
I looked around to find a African-Chinese couple. I asked her what she found so interesting. She said it was one thing when a native, German in this case, had a foreign-partner. But here, there were two people from completely different cultures; Pia found that quite daring. I, a person who doesn't like too many complications in a relationship, just shook my head. Pia knew about my view on complicated relationships and now started staring at me...this time with a frown though.I tried to explain to her my logic for the umpteenth time,'everything is jolly-jolly in the beginning, then comes a time when you cant make anymore compromises...'. She shook her head as always and it was my time to stare with a frown.
On my way back home, started this rattle in my head. Marrying a foreigner has too many complications for me. I'm an Indian who intends to marry an Indian. Sounds pretty simple. But is it really so?
I've attended a lot of arranged-marriages; I've seen all the process that lead to that culmination. There are a thousand criteria that a future husband/wife needs to satisfy. I confess, I have my own too. One of the few most important among them : Religion, Caste. India is a very large country with lot of customs and beliefs. Non-Indians find it amazing how we manage to live together "peacefully". But take a closer look and one sees a country divided within itself into thousand layers; each layer claiming to be superior than the other in some way.
Why is it that two people are so different, when one is a Hindu and the other a Christian or Muslim? Lets increase the level of magnification; why is a Brahman better than an Ezhava, why is a Roman Catholic superior than an Orthodox? It was harsh enough that the way of life divides people in The Rich and The Poor. But man wasn't sad enough. He made his life even worse by dividing it further.
'I may be poor, but i am a Roman Catholic. I'm a much higher caste than my poor Orthodox neighbour.'
Inter-caste marriages are almost a sin towards The Society; let alone inter-religion. The Society will never allow it...or speaking politically correct, it will never support it.Yes, it is as absurd as is sounds. But a true fact. And finding a partner was supposed to be simple.
Every Indian knows the Phrase 'Unity in diversity'. But how many really live its meaning. How many of us look at another person as another human being? Will it ever change? Will we ever grow up? Will we ever be what the term Human describes to be?
3 comments:
May I give my two cents?
1) Don't ever start making creteria to be satisfied by your partner - that may lead to disappointments. Keep looking out and when you see something nice, you'll think - "hey, this one fits in really well"... and go for it {See someone worth being with, go for it... }
2) At the end of day.. it doesn't even matter.. which donkey.. ;)
Sandeep.
PS: As usual, I think, Pia makes more sense! :)
1) I did once make pre-requisites...only to learn that it was simply too stupid. but i am a true cancerian. too cautious too take a risk...not having the balls is another way to express it;-)
2)i care about my donkey. and i'll make sure that she a great ride ;-) no puns intended!
P.S. Of course you had to take a side other than mine! slowly its getting on my nerve...just agree with once in a while will ya...humour me!
hey ihr zwei helden ich finde ihr denkt beide zu sehr mit eurem kopf und zu wenig mit eurem herzen.
natürlich kann einen das auch täuschen und das weiss ich sehr genau aber ich hab immer noch nicht aufgegeben das es mir irgendwann den mann zeigt der für mich gut ist und mich glücklich macht und das ist doch denke ich das wahre ziel, dass man glücklich mit dem menschen wird und jeden morgen dankbar ist wenn man aufwacht und er liegt neben dir und du weisst es kann garnichts so schwer sein solange er an deiner seite ist.
aber ihr werdet das wohl weniger verstehen den ihr hängt zu viel an euren werten euerer gesellschaft ich hoffe nur das euch dadurch nicht doch irgendwann die wahre liebe durch die finger rutscht und ich wünsche euch beide die tollste frau der welt und das ihr mit ihr glücklich werdet.
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